It Lurketh Behind

Since my banishment to the ninety-six-year old warehouse, I have endured many satirical comments by co-workers, such as “If it wasn’t haunted up there before, it is now.” This sort of abuse has made me quite steely inside. Then yesterday, I heard a cart wheel past behind me. I was alone at the time. I turned around and saw no one, but the sound continued on down the line. I have yet to get steely enough to go check such out on my own, but I didn’t run either. True story.

Don’t My Friend My Leg and Tell Me It’s Raining

Now that I have enough followers to actually begin thinking about freeing up my other hand to keep count, I would like to offer a warm and fuzzy anecdote just to let you know I care. Today, after a minor dust-up involving the ownership of a Three Musketeer’s bar, I asked my Russian co-worker (with whom I had the beef) how do you say “‘Fine, kiss my ass’ in communist?” She was charmed to the point that she offered to let me smell the candy bar’s wrapper.

On Board

Funny thing how Mom always said she and Dad only wanted three kids whenever I broke something or brought a note home from school. I mean, really, this late in the game she ought to come clean with it. We’re all grown ups now, and if she still feels that one of us shouldn’t have been born, well, fuck it, you can only hold on to the apron string for so long.

Plenty of time to think on the ferry ride home. One hour. I bet it was my brother Joe, Mom wanted to send back initially, then as he honed his butt kissing skills, my star fell.

Can I help it, being honest. Sort of a feminist King Lear thing going on in the family. Instead of only two wicked siblings, l have three.

Can’t think anymore. Woman behind me is eating Cheetos like a swine. Hope she’s reading over my shoulder.

As I Stand Here

It’s always either too hot or too cold in the ferry terminal. There is never a variance in the people here; there are always too many.

I try not to listen to their desultory travel talk. And I try not to wonder why it is that all tourists seem to never have ever been out of the house before.

I commute to work Tuesday through Saturday by ferry here to Seattle. Although Saturday is always my objective, it is also tourism day.

Why are these young tourist couples having so many children? They don’t manage the little bastards they have, why make more?

It took from the dawn of history on until my mother’s birth in 1959 for their to be three billion persons alive at the same time. In less than sixty years the population has increased 133 percent. Can’t blame Mom, she only had four. She likes to say one of us wasn’t planned. Never says which one. You’d think you’d get over that sort of thing…but she always looks at me when she says it.

Anyway, the ferry is pulling in, and the little shutheads are running amok.

I wonder if any of their mothers say the stuff mine says